You see I want much.
Perhaps I want it all:
the dark that goes with any bottomless fall
and the sun-speckled climbing up.
So many there are that don’t want a thing,
who are dulled by their senses,
their easy weight.
But you are glad for every face
that seeks and serves.
You rejoice in those who apply you
like an instrument.
You haven’t turned cold yet, it’s not too late
to dive into your expanding depth,
where life reveals its intent.
- Rainer Maria Rilke
There’s nothing more complex than human beings. And while we come alive in our idiosyncrasies, they sometimes tear us apart when they should humble us and hold a mirror up to our own shortcomings and gifts.
To this real love, I owe you an apology. I’ve dismissed you, belittled you and written you off because you didn’t appear at my doorstep in the beautifully wrapped package I was conditioned to seek. I should have seen the best of me in you, but I didn’t recognize your face. But I see you now.
Thank you for holding out, knowing I’d find my way back…”
Beautiful love letter to real love. As Susan Sontag memorably put it, “Nothing is mysterious, no human relation. Except love.”
For more on how our cultural conditioning makes us dismiss this kind of love, see Dan Savage on the price of admission.